September 7, 2011

September 7, 2011

An interesting, and yet maybe humbling, lesson learned for me today.  I was “called out” for a situation deservedly, and I had to realize there are certain things I cannot or, perhaps, should not do.  I think when you come here, you want to try to do as much as you can for whoever you can; however, what I learned today is that there are going to be situations where I can’t/shouldn’t.  And, in thinking about all of these issues, I experienced my own adult form of “time out.”

In this particular reflection on the situation, I realized the answer was I shouldn’t.  Lesson learned, and I hope not to repeat my errors (I will say I don’t have to be told twice – a strong character about me…or, maybe more accurately, the fearful memory of wooden paddles behind the principal’s desk!).  I am learning so much about what I don’t know, and although my error was not intentional or a lapse in judgment, it was a moment for me to question my role and my position during my time here.  And, sometimes, a person’s role may be to respectfully step aside or, perhaps, recognize they should not have been standing there in the first place.  Like I said, lesson learned.

I am new to this world and can honestly admit that some of my mistakes are solely based on my naivety.  The exposure to the business and the public health realms here are very different from anything I have ever experienced before, and I feel I am constantly trying to soak in as much knowledge as possible to make me a better and more educated person.  I have been trying harder than I have ever tried before, and I have realized it is a different type of gumption needed to confess your weaknesses. 

I knew in and out what I did every minute of every day in my job at home, because I was extremely well versed on all it required.  And, now, I have gone from knowing and, perhaps, being comfortable to not knowing and being uncomfortable in that lack of knowledge.  It is oftentimes trial and error for me, and right now, I am simply trying to balance my time as a student with my hope for being a teacher.  I’m afraid – no actually – I’m proud of the fact I may be learning my position is on the student side of the teeter-taught her.  It means I am being honest.

I am, quite possibly, the her after the taught!

Maybe being able to recognize my own shortcomings is the balance needed to tip me in the other direction.  Or, maybe I need every once in a while to be pushed by another to learn more about my own position in life’s fascinating playground.  Or, maybe it is equal parts of the two which make us stronger, more enlightened people.  Trying to do the best you can on the one seat, and embracing and learning from your errors/faults on the other.

Could that very well be the teeter-taught her’s equilibrium?

Cheers to hoping the answer doesn’t play hide and go seek!